No Lines

Have you ever had a moment where you had an epiphany?  This realization, this truth revealed went off like a light bulb in your head and all of a sudden everything just clicks shifts rolls snaps and slides into place and you can see from here to the horizon in terms of where you’re coming from and where you’re going.  In this moment that can last for a minute or a day, the fog lifts and you get a glimpse of the paths or THE path ahead.  You see the giant obstacles in front of you as always but right now, in this doesn’t really matter so much, or the thing in your way doesn’t seem so big, or perhaps it’s just your eyes that have refocused.  Things, for the moment, have been put in perspective; You can see the goal, you can see the prize that will validate your sweat and tears and ridicule.  You can remember the heart pangs from dreams failed or lost, from opportunities never realized and time squandered.  But right now, in this moment, you heart beats just a hair quicker, almost anticipating, rather drumming your foot forward.  That first step, then the next, and another one after it.  But you haven’t moved yet.  Something has gone wrong.  The chain of command was broken somewhere, somehow.  There’s a battle raging inside of you; your mind agaist your heart, your fears against your dreams.  Your heart begins to thump thump thump because now, that path, that clearing that had been so gloriously illuminated, is now not quite so much, and you strain your eyes to find the next footing.  Was there ever a clearing? you ask rhetorically, or do you really not know the answer.  You know what you feel, you are still exhilarated, the adrenaline is still flowing through your body, but for what purpose, now, how do you use it?  You look back, 3 steps ahead of where you should be, and the adrenaline turns against you, what could have possibly made me leave your spot.  Now embarrassed, you turn, to return, back to normal, back to gray, back to the comfort of the fog, where nothing stands out, where no one cares if you make a mistake, because everything is whats right before your eyes, gray, everything is the same.  Everything is the same, but, no..that was your imagination.  You didn’t see, you couldn’t have seen, was it, it wasn’t.  And even if it was, you don’t want to leave here anyway.  You know this spot, it’s where you’ve been, nothing too bad has happened to you here.  It’s a little boring, sure, but you can deal with that, for now, for a while.  Besides, when that path shows itself again, you’ll be ready.  I’ll be ready.


About willisan

Born the year the Bears won the super bowl for the 1st and last time (as of yet) in Chicago, moved around a bit, lived in Central/Southern/Backwoods Japan for a while, now in Atlanta. My Interests: ・Photography ・Reading ・Sports ・Fitness ・Languages(Japanese) and many, many more!
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One Response to No Lines

  1. bellaborah says:

    hmm.. nice.. it really hit.. gray fog.. yup.. i forgot you had a wordpress.. i keep going to xanga.. hahaha..

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